ML approached me today about loaning his parents $10K to pay off their new Honda. Here is the grand plan he presented: we would lend his parents $10K and then in a couple of months, they would return the money plus $500 interest. I almost laughed in his face, you’re kidding, right? No, he was serious. You must be joking?! Lend money? Lend them $10K from our nest egg? NO! Absolutely not! Of course, he said I was being irrational and making this a personal issue. According to him, this was a good investment with a great rate of return. What?! I am busting my ass working overtime and weekends in order to pay the bills during our separation. Too DAMN bad if they can’t afford to pay for their brand new SUV. I am not in the business of maintaining their ridiculous and indulgent lifestyle. I just can’t believe they had the audacity to ask ML for money. Of course they asked him because he so goddamn greedy! They knew they could entice him with the interest money. That can’t even pay a half month’s worth of my rent. Why would I risk losing our $10K for a stupid $500?
In addition, ML has not helped me with one dime of the marital property bills since he’s moved out. If he’s a walking ATM machine, then he needs to start disbursing money my way. I have rent, utilities, insurance, and student loans that need to be paid. Why would his parents make such a ridiculous request when our marriage is on shaky ground? We are paying for three separate residences (mines, ML’s, and Lori’s place) and spending hundred of dollars monthly on therapy. Are they really that selfish? And to add insult to injury, they haven’t even bothered to contact me during this entire separation and they only live five minutes away! They never once called to say: Enigma, how are you feeling? Is there anything we can do to help? I went to his mother for help in my time of need and she did nothing but ramble on about how my actions might have caused my husband’s behavior. I honestly believed this family cared about me! It’s hard to see the harsh reality. I think that’s what hurts the most. I trusted them, the lot of them, and they all betrayed me…HOW DARE THEY!!
Oh my. I had to take a breath when I read this because all I can think is HELL YEAH! to your “How dare they!” So, you say you went to your mil when found out and she blamed you, huh? MY oh MY– I’m giving you a virtual high five. Same here, Enigma! Only mine went ahead and also talked about me badly to the entire fam. Guess it really goes to show that family of origin stuff must be true!
My totally compassion and empathy aside, I want to commend you. It really sounds like you know what’s right for you and were not swayed. Good for you! Also, you can see the dysfunction plain as day now. I hope you’re not beating yourself up about the *before*, thinking they truly cared for you. Now you know, and you are taking care of you! That’s fantastic.
And if you ever want to have a mil rant off, you know I’m here. 😉
Have a wonderful weekend and bright blessings on you.
Thanks, B! I don't feel so badly about it anymore, but I'm still amazed that she would ask for money. I guess some people have no shame. I don't believe my MIL has bad-mouthed me to the extended family just yet. She's too worried about appearances, and if her son's actions "leaked", she (and her family) would be humiliated in front of all her family & friends. When I told her, she kept asking if I told anyone else, over and over again. She obviously wanted the bomb contained. I appreciate you "listening" to my rant! It felt good to get it off my chest 🙂