Our one year anniversary came and went – an uneventful day. Not because it passed unnoticed, but because it was not the emotional, dramatic affair I had feared it to be. Surprisingly, the weekend was wonderfully pleasant! ML went through the effort to make the day as special as can be for us. Since I was not up for the task of planning anything special, ML decided to take charge of the itinerary. He started the weekend with a day trip to a major city in our tri-state area. It was such fantastic day! Just the two of us on the open road, exploring a new city, and learning new things (we truly are geeks at heart). The following day, he surprised me with a nice bottle of champagne, red roses, and a beautiful card (surprising because it is not his usual style to be “romantic”). We then went to a romantic dinner at a nice, new local restaurant in town. We ordered some delicious entrees, a bottle of wine, and we were even surprised with a complimentary dessert platter for our anniversary. It was a perfect evening in every way!
Besides the many trials we’ve experienced this year as a couple, we are still walking this journey together, hand-in-hand, as we promised we would one year ago. In a strange way, I’m grateful for this experience during our first year of marriage. I’ve learned many things about ML (both good and bad) that I would’ve never learned had we not gone through this trauma together, and my love for him has grown even more than I ever thought imaginable. In addition, I am learning much more about myself, the meaning of marriage, and the intricacies of love during this period of separation. All the things that I planned to “obsess” over in the first years of my marriage seem pretty silly and insignificant now. Ironically, this whole experience continues to be liberating. I no longer stress over being the “perfect” wife, daughter-in-law, sister, friend – I am content with being only myself. In addition, I’ve been blessed with an amazing support system in the group meetings, boards, and through this blog. I have connected with so many different individuals experiencing similar situations, both near and far, on a deeper level than I ever thought possible. And though I do not wish our circumstances on anyone, I am happy that we have made it this far, one crazy year into our marriage, and I am still where I want to be – by ML’s side.
Happy Anniversary … I loved what you wrote about not needing to obsess over being the perfect wife and daughter in law etal. You can just be you. We are all good enough. It’s the acceptance that’s the tough part. Thanks for sharing your journey.
Good for you!
My 15th anniversary is coming up and we are going away for a weekend. I hope my anniversary is as happy as yours.
Thank you for the anniversary wishes!
Rae – Thank you for stopping by! I’ve been following your journey as well. I appreciate the insight you have shed on addiction, from the female’s point of view.
Anony – Wow! 15 years is a big milestone! I wish you lots of love and happiness on your special day. I only pray to make that special milestone with ML someday 🙂
If you can get to gratitude, you know you’re doing something right. Never thought I’d say that when all of this came down, and then pulled me down. Getting back up again is Amazing, isn’t it?
E,
What a sweet and tender entry. Thank you for sharing it. I have to chime in with Rae– I love how you see that the previous obsessions you would have had are so lightweight in comparison to this real, nitty-gritty real life stuff. You summed it up so well and I’m so happy for you that you were able to enjoy your anniversary.
B
Enigma,
What a great post! It’s funny how appreciative we can be when we let go of expectation. This was very uplifting for me.
Congrats to you.