What started off as a relaxing Thursday night, ended in total frustration. You see, the trackball on my Blackberry broke off several days prior and I decided to order a new phone to replace the old one. After discussing my options with the sales representative, I was quoted a decent price for a new Blackberry phone with a $100 mail in rebate and a new two year agreement. I decided to go for it and purchase the new phone. When I received the new phone and called to activate it, I was informed that my mail in rebate would not be eligible. So after being quoted a certain price, I was expected to either pay the additional $100 or return the phone. After speaking with a regular representative, a supervisor and the supervisor’s supervisor, my options were limited. Either activate the new phone and lose $100 or return the phone and wait for a reimbursement on my credit card that takes up to two billing cycles. This had me livid! So, either way, I was being screwed over – either spending the additional $100 or having to wait 60 days for my money back once the company got their phone.
I was completely frustrated to the point of tears. After explaining the situation to my husband and going on and on about “my crappy options”, I decided to take a breather for the night and watch some TV with wine as I originally planned to do. ML had shut himself off in the other room. Again, this upset me. Here we go again with him isolating. I wanted to share a little TV time with him, and he’s off in la la land in the next room. After an hour of waiting for him, he comes out with my old blackberry with the trackball attached. Granted, the phone looked like a child’s science experiment, but it was functional. Instead of being thankful, I was annoyed. “I don’t want that ugly phone! What am I suppose to do with that?” He said: “Well, you wanted options, this is an option.” I decided I didn’t like this option and promised myself to continue in my search for the right answer.
After ML had left to work in the morning, I decided to take a closer look at the phone. The phone was actually a little over a year old. I actually got it the day before I was leaving on my destination wedding trip. I remembered being so excited to get my new Blackberry and playing with it the entire time at the airport as we waited for our flights. However, like my marriage, the phone had a very rough first year. During my beach getaway with my sister, I left the phone out in the sun too long and it acquired some screen damage. When ML came to pack up his stuff after we had separated, I flung the phone at him out of anger and frustration causing it to get all scuffed up. Not to mention my own “klutzy” nature, dropping the cell phone on numerous occasions. I thought a new phone – like leaving the relationship with my husband – was the magic solution to my problems. But what is a new phone if I’m still a hopeless klutz? Or a new relationship if I’m still a crazy codependent? I immediately called ML to thank him for fixing my phone and to apologize for my bratty behavior the night before. He seemed really happy that his efforts did not go unnoticed and accepted my apology. At the end of the day, I decided to choose my eyesore of a phone instead of keeping the new one, like I choose this less-than perfect marriage. The phone (like my marriage) may no longer be shiny and new, but it’s still works – and that’s all that matters!!
It was really nice of your husband to fix the phone. I think that’s something to keep in mind when you think about what this phone scenario means in greater context. Even when he was off by himself, he was thinking about you and working on a solution, whereas before being alone in the other room might have meant acting out. Also, his looking for a marriage counselor after your crappy weekend last week is similar to this scenario.
That’s why the little things are so important. People freak out over putting the cap on the toothpaste or leaving the toilet seat up because they’re indicative of much bigger things. It sounds like your husband is working hard to regain your trust. I’m sure it’s hard and scary at first to receive these tokens of love/trust, so don’t beat yourself up over not wanting to accept the old phone at first. What’s important is that, after some thought, you recognized his gesture as a kind one and did receive.
Sounds like you two are making some good progress!
Its amazing how the unexpected things in life teach us so much. Sorry your phone is broken. (but if you have sprint? I am not supprised at this story, I paid the $295 early termination fee to get away from them!) but thats another story for another day 🙂
It was really sweet of ML to fix your phone 🙂
I’m really happy & grateful that he’s trying. There are still some things that are not 100% yet, but I know it’ll take some time. I think, in his own way, he’s doing what he can to make living amends and try to work on the marriage. Scheduling the marriage counselor, fixing my phone, helping around the house are definitely his attempts at trying to be a better husband and I really do appreciate all he’s doing.
Monica – Yes! It is in fact Sprint 😦
I love this post! The fact that your hubby fixed the phone for you is terribly sweet and your acceptance of it is beautiful.