Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for January, 2010

 

This morning I left the house in a bit of a huff.  All those old feelings of resentment have been emerging lately. I also know that when I start to feel resentful of others is because I’m not doing a good job of taking care of myself.  Today’s resentment was targeted at ML. ML’s schedule allows him to arrive to work at 10:00AM.  And since moving, his commute is only 20 minutes.  On the other hand, I have to be at work at 8:30AM and my commute has been extended about an hour each way.   He leaves for work everyday, yet nothing gets accomplished.  He just uses the extra time to sleep.  And when I arrive home at 6:00PM, guess who starts dinner in perfect time for his arrival at 6:30PM?  Me, of course! And that’s when the resentment hits.  This morning when ML mentioned he was going to head out for a jog, I completely lost it.  I hate that he finds time in his schedule to take care of his health, and I barely have time to breathe. 

I could also go on about how I’m still working the part-time job I picked up when we separated because I’m still helping my sister with rent.  Yet, she’s off using her extra income to go out clubbing in NYC every weekend and purchasing $300 handbags.  That money was meant for her basics. I don’t want to wake up at 6:30AM on Sunday morning to support her lifestyle.  I know what I have to do. I know I have to find ways to take care of myself, but old habits are so hard to break.  At least I recognize what’s wrong with this picture.

Read Full Post »

New Year…New Beginnings

Hello  everyone!  I know I’ve been MIA for quite some time now and I apologize for not keeping up with everyone. I needed to take some time off from blogging about sex addiction and my relationship with my husband for my own growth and sanity. I’m glad to report that holidays went relatively well.  Both ML and Lori were present for the Christmas festivities and there were no daggers (literal or metaphorical) flying across the room.  It was pleasant in a non-eventful sort of way, so it was a success in my opinion.  ML and I have had some minor bumps on the road, but we’ve been handling them as best as we can as we go through them.  We’re still hard at work on our individual recoveries and relationship. 

I think I’m ready to pickup with the blogging once again. It’s been so long since my last post, I don’t even know where to start or if anybody’s still reading. If you sent me any emails or twitter messages, I haven’t been checking any of it, so I apologize for not responding.  I will be back up and running again – that’s my hope.  So to start, I just wanted to say I’m still here: living, loving and hoping for good things this year.

XOXO

~Enigma

Read Full Post »